The "Ideal" Male Look/Fitness Goal Update

Hello, ducklings. Today is a Friday, so of course I will be posting a Friday Fitness Goal pic. Here I am, in all my awkward shirtless glory.

To be honest, I’m having mixed feelings about my workout. It’s been a month—I’ve been working out/running steadily; I think I took a three-day-hiatus but that was my only lapse—and outwardly, I see hardly any signs of progress, at least from these pictures. Perhaps there is a tightening and flattening in the abdominal region, but knowing me that very well could be wishful thinking.

However, I am happy to say that I have been running my daily 5K faster and a few days ago, I added 100 more sit-ups and a few more push-ups to my workout. So, even if I don’t have the body of Adonis yet, I know for sure that I am getting stronger and fitter. It’s just taking longer than expected.

I had really thought that a month would show more significant difference. I’m no fitness expert, so I could be dead wrong, but I hoped that after even three weeks, there would be more noticeable changes. I have a very lean body type and the metabolism of a freaking hummingbird, so it could be that I just take longer to develop muscle, but I am not sure. My diet could have something to do with it—I’m vegetarian, after all—but I take protein supplements and generally eat well. Plus, I feel absolutely fine, and I haven’t even had little ills like the occasional cold. In terms of how I feel, everything is splendid. It’s just…I wanted to look better, you know?

It’s not hard to see that women and girls are constantly being bombarded with images and media that portray the “ideal female look.” They are told by TV, radio, magazines, Internet, etc. that a woman should look this way, smell this way, dress this way, blah blah blah. However, it is important to note that men are not let off the hook, either. Just walk into an Abercrombie & Fitch store (or any other store like it, essentially). Look at the male models in commercials for shaving cream, razors, shampoo, soap, and of course fitness machinery. Just as women are commanded by mass media to look a certain way, so are men. And men are told to look like Greek gods. We might be able to get away with having little muscle mass if our faces are pretty enough, but the “ideal male look” generally involves shapely pectorals, bulging biceps, and the ever-present perfectly symmetrical six-pack.

Am I a conformist for striving to meet this standard, at least partially? Am I a hypocrite for telling others to do whatever makes them happy (provided they don’t harm people), yet spending two hours each day working out and running? Am I a fool for trying to achieve this look?

I’m not sure. I could be completely blind to my own idiocy (and it wouldn’t be the first time, unfortunately). But here’s the thing: I like being healthy. I like looking good. I love running. Sit-ups, push-ups, wall-sits, and planks may not be quite as invigorating, but I do absolutely love to run. My workout doesn’t make me sick or unhappy. My life doesn’t revolve around my fitness or self-image. I am not involved with steroids or any kind of detrimental supplement. Maybe I’m a moron for trying to look the way society tells me I should look, but what if I like that look?

Ultimately I think you have to do what makes you happy. If you are trying to achieve a certain look because it will make you happy, and you are putting your own happiness before the happiness of others, then I think you’re probably on the right track. Things start getting murky when you try to achieve a certain look (or anything else, for that matter) in order to appease other people.

And with that last nugget, I’m out! Enjoy your weekend!

The Prison of False Dichotomies

Good evening, my ducklings. Today I want to talk about something that I have only been able to verbalize recently. I’ve been having thoughts about this for a while now, and I’ve been learning what I can, but it wasn’t until a week or so ago that I was able to sit down and express myself in a coherent manner.

We live in a society that often seeks for simplicity. Society likes labels; it wants them and needs them, because they make life simpler. It’s just so much easier to toss someone into a pre-defined set of stereotypes than it is to look at him or her as a wholly unique person. Why bother to get to know someone, when you can let society’s definitions and prejudices tell you everything you need to know? I’m going to use myself as an example here. Let me toss out some characteristics: gay, male, American, atheist. Now, what does society have to say about me?

Well, because I’m gay, that obviously means I love clubbing and Lady Gaga, and I watch Glee religiously. Oh, I also adore Broadway musicals. I bleed glitter and I attend every single gay pride event I can find.

 

Because I’m male, that must mean I like contact sports and that I’m not very “attuned” to my emotional/intuitive side. I instinctively know how to use power tools and I never cry. I probably won’t be as good a parent as a woman could be, but when I do assume the role, I’m gruff and rough-and-tumble, rather than gentle and nurturing.

I’m American. This means I think my country is the absolute best in the world and everything we do is always right. I’m ignorant of other countries’ traditions and culture, and I’m a loud, obnoxious tourist.

 
I’m an atheist. Clearly, I must be a depressed, over-intellectual nihilist with no hope for the future and no real reason to live. Since I don’t believe in a higher power that directs all human life, I’m probably so saddened and purposeless that I consider suicide on a daily basis. After all, it wouldn’t matter anyway, right?

(Sarcasm ends here. For the dimmer bulbs out there, the last four paragraphs are not intended to be taken seriously at all.)

See what I mean? Not a single thing I just wrote accurately describes me. And yet, these are all stereotypes that I (along with everyone else) face every single day, because society desires simplicity and uniformity. There’s just so much work and thinking that has to happen when a member of a certain group defies (or fails to meet) certain expectations…so, rather than put on our thinking caps and engage in critical reasoning, we just adjust our blinders a bit and carry on, continuing to lump people together into set categories without a second thought.

One way that society has trapped us into thinking this way is with false dichotomies: the notion that there are only two (usually extreme) options. Let me toss out some more examples. You’re either gay or straight. You’re a Republican or you’re a Democrat. And, as ludicrous as this may seem to you, you’re either a man or a woman.

Obviously, each dichotomy is a crock of bull. There is almost always a third option, or a fourth, or a seventh. You don’t have to be gay or straight: you can be bisexual, although, there are still people (even in the gay community) that claim bisexuality is “just a phase,” or “a ploy for attention.” You can also be asexual; that is, you have no sexual interest in anyone.

Now for the next false dichotomy: you don’t have to be either a Republican or a Democrat. Like, seriously! Who honestly thinks that everyone in our country can be neatly sorted into one of two categories? Maybe you’re libertarian! Maybe you’re an anarchist! Maybe you’re some other option that isn’t popular because it’s too complicated to consider! Come on, people. We’re a bit more complex than a two-party system, don’t you think?

The final false dichotomy may not seem false at all. But let’s take a second to think about it. First of all, how do you define “man” or “woman?” Does your definition rest solely on genitalia? Then what do you call someone who is born with both male and female organs? Does your definition only consider chromosomes? Then what do you call someone with an extra X or Y? Does your definition only account for gender roles and cultural norms? Then what do you call someone who has the outward appearance of a man but who has always felt like a woman, or vice versa? See what I’m saying? Things are quite a bit more complicated than society would have you think.

Let me tell you about a false dichotomy that has been bothering me lately. I run into this one a lot, which is the idea that you can either have a very successful entrepreneurial life, or you can be romantically fulfilled, but you can’t have it both ways. I don’t think this is true. Hell, I’m hoping desperately it’s a big fat lie! What a horrible thing to think: I can either be happy doing what I love, or I can be happy being in love, but I can’t do both. Well, let me tell you, I don’t see any reason why I can’t make money doing what I’m passionate about and also have a fulfilling life with loved ones.

Are there any false dichotomies that trap you? Are there any false dichotomies that you find hard to disprove? Share with me in the comments section!