Update

Hey! First, here’s my Friday Fitness pic. (Yes, that is a PokeWalker clipped to the side of my cap. Be jealous.)

Sorry about the lack of an update Wednesday! This week has been pretty hectic. I recently applied for what seems like a pretty sweet job, and I’ve also been busy with friends, family, and various summer activities. In fact, as soon as I’m done typing this, I have an art show to visit, and my potential employers will be there, so I’m hoping to go make a good impression.

I’ve been doing this blog for over a month now, and I’m definitely glad I’ve stuck with it. However, I feel like I’m ready to take it in a slightly different direction. I like writing, but I prefer writing short stories and working on my novel, honestly. I really enjoy making art with my tablet—it’s just that MS Paint is a nightmare to use. So, I’m not sure if I should just keep chugging and see what happens, or take a break until I can afford to buy a new computer that can run my art programs. Once my equipment is updated, I would love to focus solely on artwork and comics.

On a similar note, I’m a bit divided on my YouTube project. I love singing and playing the piano, and even though learning to play guitar is difficult, I’m having a good time. It was very refreshing to upload my first video and get so much positive feedback (and even a request!) from both friends and strangers. It’s just that making those videos takes forever. Partially it’s because I’m a perfectionist, but even if I cut the number of takes in half, the process of recording, editing, and uploading the video basically takes a whole day. I just don’t know if I like that, you know? I bet I could streamline the process a bit, but I’ll have to figure it out.

I guess right now I’m at a sort of “checkpoint” in life. I’m evaluating a few goals and projects and seeing what should go and what should stay. I know for a fact that if I get this job, I’ll have to cut something, simply because I’m applying for a full-time position and most of my hobbies are pretty time-consuming and intensive. If I don’t get the job, I suppose I won’t have to worry, but honestly, I’m ready to see some income, and I’m even more ready to buy a Mac. If getting this job and taking a hiatus from the blog is what it takes to save up the money for a new laptop, then I will do it in a heartbeat.

Wow. Today’s post is offering nothing particularly helpful, funny, or inspiring to y’all. Oh, well. I’m a bit scatterbrained at the moment, and like I said, this week has been hectic. About the only goal that seems to be going the way I wanted/hoped is the fitness goal: I added 200 more sit-ups to my workout today.

Anyway, that’s all I have for today. I’m going to spend the next week or two soul-searching and assessing my goals, so if my blog posts seem weirder than usual, that’s why. Talk to you Monday.

The Novel

Hey, ducklings! Sorry for the late update, but today was extremely busy and I wasn’t able to get started on my post until late. Then, I decided to make a comic, and naturally MS Paint made my life a living hell for an hour or two. However, that being said, here is the “comic” I have been struggling to “create” for the better part of my Monday evening.

Sometimes, I get struck with a bolt of sudden, overwhelming inspiration that motivates me to type furiously into the wee hours of the night. Most of the time, I sit at my laptop, slack-jawed, until I realize that my fingers aren’t actually typing the next Harry Potter series, then I close Microsoft Word and watch Adventure Time for the rest of the evening. This is my life, kids.

See you Wednesday.

The Revelation

Hello, ducklings! I hope your Friday is going well. Before I get to the nitty gritty of today’s post, here’s the obligatory awkward Friday fitness pic.

On a related note, my workout is going well. I have added more sit-ups and push-ups, and I can now hold a plank for two minutes! That doesn’t seem like much, but three weeks ago, I could barely do one minute, and progress is progress (no matter how small). Little victories like these are always exciting, especially if you’re impatient like me and you demand instantaneous results. I might not have the body of a Greek god yet, but damn it, I can hold a plank longer now than when I first started!

All right. So, today I want to share something that probably seems blindingly obvious to the rest of the world, but didn’t quite hit me until today.

I can do whatever I want.

Let that sink in for a moment. Read that sentence once, twice, seven times. Allow the words to imprint themselves upon your mind grapes.

I can do whatever I want. Seriously! I just realized today that I have a whole life ahead of me, and a whole world surrounding me, and there’s no one to tell me what I’m allowed or not allowed to do. (Well, except for the law, but 1. most of what I want to do is perfectly legal, and 2. I suppose I can still break the law if I want to—I just have to pay the consequences. I am not encouraging anyone to break the law, however!)

I know this seems really, blatantly obvious. Like, duh. Seriously. As soon as you turn 18 and leave your parental units behind, the world is your oyster. We all know that. But do we really get it?

See, I’ve lived most of my life trying to live up to certain standards and expectations—not just those imposed by my parents, but also those imposed by society. I started breaking free from those chains around last year sometime and ultimately made the decision to take a break from college to explore the “real” world a bit earlier than planned, but it’s been several months and I’ve just now realized that there are so many paths open to me, so many choices available. I can move to Cali if I want. I can move to another country if I want. I can save up money and spend it on ridiculous things, or I can give it to whatever charity I choose. I can use my days off to sleep in and goof around, or I can use them to do something constructive and meaningful. I can spend my time learning to play guitar and understand ASL and make art and sing and read and all those other awesome things that make life worth living. (I’ve been doing that quite happily since leaving college behind, ha ha.)

Why didn’t I understand this earlier? Why didn’t I make the connection as soon as I was a legal adult that I had around seventy years of life left and I could spend them doing whatever I wanted? Why did I automatically think, “okay, time to adhere to the same old plan that every other person my age is following.”

It scares me that it took so long to reach this conclusion. I would like to think I’m just a bit slow on the uptake (don’t get me wrong, I totally am), but I suspect that I’m not the only one who spent several years laboring under the delusion that there are only a few paths available and that you can’t really do what you want—you have to do what’s expected. Even after I took the plunge and withdrew from OU, nervous as a cat and terrified of living on my own, it took me three or four months to grasp the magnitude of my decision to forsake the well-worn path.

Anyway, this realization has pretty much brightened my entire month. I don’t think I have words that can adequately describe the happiness bestowed upon me by this revelation. All I can say is that you have to remember that only one person can really tell you what to do. Only one person can really rule your life and make you follow a certain direction. Obviously, that person is you, and if you don’t like where you are right now, you have to start fixing what you don’t like about yourself.

See y’all next week, angel faces.

The Muscle

Hello, ducklings! First, let me say HAPPY AMERICA DAY! To my stateside readers, I hope y’all are enjoying your cookouts, pool parties, and—of course—your explosives. To everyone else, I hope the weather is treating you well.

So today’s blog title is a bit misleading. I’m not actually talking about physical muscle today, like the kind needed to lift heavy pieces of metal or the kind needed to burst watermelons between one’s thighs. I’m talking about a metaphorical muscle: the willpower muscle.

Now, I’m not sure if my theory about willpower has much scientific merit, but it does make a whole lot of sense. Here’s what I’ve discovered: your willpower is basically like a muscle. The more you exercise it, the stronger you get. If you don’t exercise your willpower for a long period of time, then it will atrophy.

Last week, I had a really sucky day where I woke up in a sour mood and just wanted to lay in bed and watch cat videos for like 12 hours. And at first, that’s basically what I did. 10:30 AM quickly became 3:00 PM, and before I knew it, it was 6:00 PM and I hadn’t even had a proper breakfast…or left my bed. (Pathetic, I know.) The longer I stayed snuggled up in my covers, laughing at the kittens gamboling around on my laptop, the less I wanted to actually get up and do something as simple as fix myself a bowl of cereal, or—heaven forbid—accomplish anything useful.

However, that day wasn’t my R&R day, which is usually Saturday. If it had been, I might not have summoned the willpower to get my lazy ass out of bed and do my workout. But…somehow…I managed to turn off the cat videos, drag myself out of my warm blanket cocoon, and begin my typical sit-ups/push-ups routine. At first, I told myself I’d just do the sit-ups and push-ups and skip the daily 5K. After all, I reasoned with myself, my ankle has been kind of bothering me. And I’m just out of it today…I’ll do the regular workout and skip the run.

But guess what? By the time my regular workout was completed, my energy had been restored and I thought, oh, what the hell, I’ll go run anyway. And I did! It was an excellent run, too. Granted, it was a bit later in the day than I am accustomed to, but it went well nonetheless.

So, even after most of the day was wasted on being a complete bum, I still managed to force myself to get out of the slump and do both my workout and my run. Later that evening, though, I caught myself wondering how I was able to do it.

See, I don’t have a shining track record of sticking to plans and achieving goals that take several months of dedication. I’m still not at the point where doing my workout, or practicing guitar, or learning ASL, is just a daily thing that I do without much hassle. Every day, there is a bit of initial resistance that threatens to hold me back. To be blunt, I’m pleasantly surprised that I was able to pull my shit together, get out of bed, and work on my goals. So what did it? What helped me snap out of my indolence and adhere to my plans?

I think it was a combination of two things. First, I had already spent a solid month following a workout/run schedule. A month isn’t very long, but it’s apparently long enough for me to build up my willpower muscle a little bit. Second, I did the good ol’ “baby steps” routine, where at first I told myself, hey, I’ll just get out of bed and clean up a bit, at the very least. Well, now I’m out of bed, so I might as well do some sit-ups. Okay, guess I’ll do the whole workout, but there’s no pressing need to run today’s 5K. Well, okay, now the workout is done and I’m feeling good. Guess I’ll run after all!

Sometimes, all it takes it just that first tiny step. Yes, I know that is cliché as hell, but it’s cliché for a reason, and that’s because it works. If you can force yourself to do one tiny little thing, and then another, and then another…before you know it, you’ve accomplished something. Sometimes, all you need is to check one item off your list. Then, a little bit later, you discover that you have checked off all the items on your list. (And even if you only checked off most of them, that’s okay, too. Hell, even if you only checked off your one small item, that’s better than what most people do…and what most people do is stay in bed all day and watch kittens frolicking playfully to jaunty music.)

Hopefully this post gave you a little inspiration, a little motivation. Feel free to share any stories in the comments section below. See you Friday!

The Dichotomy of Daydreams

Hello, ducklings.

So I recently came to a realization that has been giving me some trouble. Let me tell you about it.

I have a lot of dreams/daydreams/fantasies/whatever, right? I have movies that play in my head as I wait in line to buy groceries, as I run my daily 5K, as I fall asleep at night. We all do, I’m sure. I have an entire gallery of daydreams, ranging from the fantastic to the mundane and everywhere in-between. But when it comes to dreams of my future—dreams that could actually happen, dreams that follow the laws of physics—they can be separated neatly into two categories.

The first category is the Famous/Notorious category. These daydreams all have one thing in common: in them, I am fabulously wealthy and I am a celebrity of some sort. I have become a singer, an actor, a model, an author, an entrepreneur. I host television shows and write witty articles. My face is on magazines and I endorse various colognes and fashion lines. In these dreams, I have somehow become rich and famous.

The second category is the Mundane Hermit category. In these dreams, I live alone in some gorgeous locale—usually on a tropical beach or in some scenic Oklahoman hideaway near a lake—and I spend my days doing my own thing, which is writing, painting, reading, and maintaining a huge garden. I indulge myself with amazing home-cooked meals and a house that I am constantly remodeling. Occasionally I have friends over, but mostly I live my life as a happy, isolated weirdo who spends most of his time outdoors, either in a forest or on the beach. Of course, in these dreams the source of income is not as obvious as in the first type, but I’ll figure that out later.

So…which type of dream do I pursue? I see happiness in both. I see health in both. I see appeal in both. Is it possible to compromise? Can one have the best of both worlds?

The thing is, the first type of dream seems to be heavily influenced by societal/cultural definitions of success. We are told from a young age that you are successful if you are well-off financially, if you have a gorgeous car, if you have a big house. The second dream category is influenced more by my “yardstick of success,” which simply measures how happy one is. However, I’m pretty sure I’d be happy in either scenario.

My mind is a little all over the place today. I’ve just recently realized that there are a whole lot of things I want to do and there is going to be a whole lot of work needed to get them done.

What about you? Do all your dreams line up and make sense? Or are you sometimes paralyzed by all the options?

See you Wednesday, angel faces.

The "Ideal" Male Look/Fitness Goal Update

Hello, ducklings. Today is a Friday, so of course I will be posting a Friday Fitness Goal pic. Here I am, in all my awkward shirtless glory.

To be honest, I’m having mixed feelings about my workout. It’s been a month—I’ve been working out/running steadily; I think I took a three-day-hiatus but that was my only lapse—and outwardly, I see hardly any signs of progress, at least from these pictures. Perhaps there is a tightening and flattening in the abdominal region, but knowing me that very well could be wishful thinking.

However, I am happy to say that I have been running my daily 5K faster and a few days ago, I added 100 more sit-ups and a few more push-ups to my workout. So, even if I don’t have the body of Adonis yet, I know for sure that I am getting stronger and fitter. It’s just taking longer than expected.

I had really thought that a month would show more significant difference. I’m no fitness expert, so I could be dead wrong, but I hoped that after even three weeks, there would be more noticeable changes. I have a very lean body type and the metabolism of a freaking hummingbird, so it could be that I just take longer to develop muscle, but I am not sure. My diet could have something to do with it—I’m vegetarian, after all—but I take protein supplements and generally eat well. Plus, I feel absolutely fine, and I haven’t even had little ills like the occasional cold. In terms of how I feel, everything is splendid. It’s just…I wanted to look better, you know?

It’s not hard to see that women and girls are constantly being bombarded with images and media that portray the “ideal female look.” They are told by TV, radio, magazines, Internet, etc. that a woman should look this way, smell this way, dress this way, blah blah blah. However, it is important to note that men are not let off the hook, either. Just walk into an Abercrombie & Fitch store (or any other store like it, essentially). Look at the male models in commercials for shaving cream, razors, shampoo, soap, and of course fitness machinery. Just as women are commanded by mass media to look a certain way, so are men. And men are told to look like Greek gods. We might be able to get away with having little muscle mass if our faces are pretty enough, but the “ideal male look” generally involves shapely pectorals, bulging biceps, and the ever-present perfectly symmetrical six-pack.

Am I a conformist for striving to meet this standard, at least partially? Am I a hypocrite for telling others to do whatever makes them happy (provided they don’t harm people), yet spending two hours each day working out and running? Am I a fool for trying to achieve this look?

I’m not sure. I could be completely blind to my own idiocy (and it wouldn’t be the first time, unfortunately). But here’s the thing: I like being healthy. I like looking good. I love running. Sit-ups, push-ups, wall-sits, and planks may not be quite as invigorating, but I do absolutely love to run. My workout doesn’t make me sick or unhappy. My life doesn’t revolve around my fitness or self-image. I am not involved with steroids or any kind of detrimental supplement. Maybe I’m a moron for trying to look the way society tells me I should look, but what if I like that look?

Ultimately I think you have to do what makes you happy. If you are trying to achieve a certain look because it will make you happy, and you are putting your own happiness before the happiness of others, then I think you’re probably on the right track. Things start getting murky when you try to achieve a certain look (or anything else, for that matter) in order to appease other people.

And with that last nugget, I’m out! Enjoy your weekend!

How Dare You Mock Me, Punchfork

Hello, ducklings. So thanks to the incredible Internet invention known as Stumble Upon, I have discovered an amazing website. It’s called Punchfork. Basically, it’s a gallery of the most delicious, savory, jaw-dropping recipes gathered from all over the web. About twice a week, I succumb to temptation and spend an hour or two combing through the site, taking note of the more appetizing concoctions and fantasizing about a day in the distant future in which I will have the money to spend on fancy cheese and fresh herbs (organic, obviously).

“Ooh,” I drool, “look at this three-cheese lasagna with balsamic vinaigrette.”

“What’s this? Homemade creamy dreamsicles with orange zest and almond milk?”

“Oh my god...is that a flatbread made with mushrooms, pesto, and kalamata olives?!”

I work myself up into a frenzy at all of these culinary delights. My cursor flits frantically from dish to dish. Inside my head, I envision a bright and shining future in which I am the proud owner of an enormous pantry, an even larger kitchen, and of course a garden filled with so much produce that I could feed the entire population of Rhode Island. In this hypothetical future, I am a chef extraordinaire. I create exotic Asian dishes with the help of my wok. My soufflés are so light and fluffy that they taste like magic-airy-dream-clouds. I often feel the need to return to my roots and prepare extravagant Southern feasts, complete with buttermilk biscuits, fried okra and squash, black eyed peas, and juicy, melt-in-your-mouth blackberry cobbler topped with a generous scoop of homemade vanilla ice cream.

My cooking prowess knows no bounds! I am a god amongst mere mortals! Grown men and women weep tears of exquisite joy when they taste my creations, and countries go to war over who is allowed my table scraps! My culinary expertise enables me to RULE THE WORLD with an iron fist and seductively sweet shortcake! LOOK UPON MY MIGHTY PASTA AND DESPAIR.

I entertain this fantasy for a while. Then, of course, I sigh, close my laptop, and trudge to my tiny, dim-lit kitchen that looks as if it belongs on the set of Saw. I prepare yet another dish of Kraft macaroni and cheese. I eat it slowly and remorsefully.

“Soon,” I whisper. “Soon.”

First "Comic"

Hello, ducklings. Guess what? Today, you get to see some of my digital “art!” I hope you like seeing cartoons that look as if they were created by the trembling hands of an inebriated nine-year-old, because that’s basically what you’re going to get. Why, you wonder? Well, here’s why: my poor three-and-a-half-year-old HP laptop is on the verge of breaking down any day now and cannot run my super bulky Corel and Photoshop programs, I don’t have the money to buy the Mac I desperately need, and MS Paint is a cruel, sick joke invented by someone who delights in seeing would-be graphic artists rip their hair out in anguish.

Below is the first cartoon I have ever attempted to draw using MS Paint and my graphics tablet. Yes, I am aware that it looks laughably bad. I’ve decided to just roll with it. I know that with better programs I can create better art, and surely this MS Paint phase will 1) refine my ability to draw with any given media regardless of its quality and 2) increase my tolerance of the terrible obstacles fortune so lovingly sprinkles across my path.

Until I have the money to purchase a Mac, I am just going to suck it up and use MS Paint. At least I have the tablet, which helps marginally. What really bothers me is the fact that I can actually draw much better than this with actual graphics programs as well as traditional media. However, if all anyone sees are my MS Paint creations, then the entire Interweb is going to think I am either a talentless moron or I am slightly retarded (possibly both).

Well, whatever. Without further ado, here is the first cartoon I’ve drawn using MS Paint. Ta-dah…

See y’all Wednesday with a new cartoon. DON’T MOCK ME; I’M DOING THE BEST I CAN UNDER CURRENT CIRCUMSTANCES.

The Renaissance Man/The Higher Self

Hello, angel faces. Today I’m going to share with you my perspective on goals right now. Basically, I want to do everything. I want to be a published author and illustrator. I want to design t-shirts. I want to be a model. I want to sing and play instruments. I want to teach. I want to be an actor. I want to travel the world. I want to learn to speak a different language (or two, or three). I want to do a ton of stuff—so much stuff that I wonder if I have time to do it all before I die.

Put simply, I want to be a Renaissance Man.

According to dictionary.com, a Renaissance Man is “A person with many talents or interests, esp. in the humanities.” That is a pretty apt description of who I am—and more importantly, who I will be. See, right now I feel like I have maybe two talents and a whole boatload of interests…but with time and effort, I would like to have many talents. That’s why I’m practicing guitar and piano every day. That’s why I complete a lesson of American Sign Language every night. Ultimately, that’s why I’m even writing this blog.

If you’re like me, you probably have a ridiculous amount of goals. But…occasionally…you might feel worn out. You might get tired, or you might think, “this will take way too much time/this will never happen/I can’t do it.” When I am in that kind of rut, here is something that helps me.

I picture what I call my Highest Self: the version of me that has become the Renaissance Man. This version of me is smart, strong, fit, and capable. He has traveled the world and acquired knowledge and wisdom from his journeys. He has many friends and he has become a role model for others. He has many artistic talents. He uses his knowledge and artistry to help make the world a more beautiful place, and to assist others however and whenever he can.

My Highest Self is a long ways away, and I have a whole lot of work to do before I can be anything like him. But when I get to feeling down, I just picture that person in my head and think, “if I want to become him, then I can’t give up now.” I don’t know if that will help you, but it definitely helps me.

Maybe, the next time you’re in rut, think of your Highest Self, and ask, “how will I become that person?”

Before I go, here is the obligatory Friday Fitness Pic. I can’t say I’m seeing a lot of progress yet, but in this for the long haul. Talk to you guys Monday! Have a good weekend!

Update (#2)

Hello, ducklings. Sorry I’ve been away so long! Things got a tad hectic here on the home front. Anyway, after some deliberation, I have decided to change things up a bit.

Blogging is pretty fun so far. I like posting my random thoughts and I like reading and answering comments. I look forward to having more followers, and I’m excited to see how my little blog will have changed six months from now.

However, the daily post is not working out so great for me. First, I’m busy. My fingers are in a thousand honey pots right now and blogging is more time-consuming than I expected. Second, I value quality over quantity—I think I prefer the idea of posting three well-written (possibly illustrated) posts a week rather than five short and mediocre posts. Third, I think it’s better to have a semi-regular schedule (emphasis on “semi”).

So, what does this mean? Well, starting next week, I will post updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Hopefully, I can start adding comics. It’s been a goal of mine for a while to have a web comic. Unfortunately, my laptop is too slow to run bulky graphics programs, but I’ll see what I can do with the oft-mocked Microsoft Paint.

Thank you all for keeping up with me! I’m excited that my blog is maturing a bit and I can’t wait to see how the comics are received. In case you were wondering, I will post the embarrassing shirtless Friday Fitness Photo tomorrow as usual, so stay tuned.

Talk to y’all soon.

The Harpies

Hello, ducklings. First things first: here’s the obligatory “Friday Fitness Goal” pic.

All right. Now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s get on to the subject of today’s post. Today I want to share with you something that might explain my outlook on life. Perhaps you will find it useful; inspiring, even.

There is a trilogy I have loved since I was little called His Dark Materials by Phillip Pullman. The first book is titled The Golden Compass, the second is The Subtle Knife, and the third is The Amber Spyglass. I cannot recommend these books enough—especially if you have an interest in parallel universes, quantum physics, religion, and the psychological development of children, all wrapped up in a positively epic fantasy—but I want to talk about something specific.

In the third book, it is revealed that everyone in the trilogy’s universe goes to a strange, barren world after they die. This world is dull and lifeless, and is guarded by horrible shrieking harpies. (If you’re familiar with Greek/Roman mythology, you’ll know that a harpy is a foul creature that is half bird and half woman.) There is no possible escape, and until Lyra (the heroine of the trilogy) intervenes, the inhabitants of this universe are forced to stay in the desolate afterworld forever.

Long story short, eventually the harpies are swayed by Lyra and her companions, and a new law is enacted: when you die, you go to the harpies’ world, but if you share your life story, and the harpies find it suitably interesting, they will let you leave.

Think about this for a moment.

What if that’s what happens to us? I’m not saying that when we die, we must tell our life stories to strange bird-ladies or otherwise we spend eternity wishing we were dead. But what if you chose to live that way? What if every decision was based on “what kind of interesting story will this make?”

Examine your life for a second. What is today’s story? “Today I woke up, ate cereal, went to work in my office, came home, and watched TV until I fell asleep.”

News flash: if I were a harpy, I wouldn’t let you pass. Heck, I probably wouldn’t even let you finish.

What if we made an honest effort to lead the most interesting, strange, unique, adventurous lives possible? What if we lived as if we had to tell our stories to those harpies or they wouldn’t let us go free?

Well, boo, that is how I have been living my life lately. I make decisions based with the following criteria in mind: “what kind of story will this decision create?”

Sometimes I slip. Sometimes I do boring things, or things I’ve already done. Sometimes I opt for the less challenging (and usually less adventurous) option. But I’m getting better with practice. Already, my life has led to some pretty remarkable places, and if I keep this up, I know I will have an awesome story to tell.

What will you tell the harpies? If you died now, would your story set you free?

Update

Hey, angel faces! Today turned out to be pretty busy/tiring, so I’m just going to make a few quick announcements.

1.      My account at fiverr.com is up and running! If you’d like me to do a tarot card reading for you for five bucks, then just follow the link! http://fiverr.com/gigs/search?query=jordybranam&x=0&y=0

2.      My fitness goals are going pretty well. I took a break today to give my muscles a rest, but I’m feeling fine and definitely noticing improvement. Tomorrow, of course, I will be posting another semi-embarrassing photo…get excited…

3.      I’m starting to get a few YouTube subscribers, as well as some great feedback on my first video! If you haven’t already seen it, follow the link to listen to me make some music! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4PT5xRzGDEU&feature=g-all-lik 

      Also, I’m totally taking requests, so feel free to make suggestions in the comments section!

That’s all for today! I’ll talk to y’all tomorrow. Have a good evening and stay in touch.

The Change in Perspective

Hello, my angel faces. So, today I want to talk about perspective. Before I can do that, I need to share something about myself. Perhaps you do this as well.

I often catch myself reminiscing about the past. I had a pretty solid childhood and, for the most part, a great school experience (up until college, ha ha). However, I don’t just idly relive moments from the past. I think to myself, “how could I have done this better, how could I have done that better? What if I had made this choice instead? What if I hadn’t been so scared? What if I had lived this day to the fullest in every sense of the word? What if I had said yes? What if I knew then what I knew now?”

I know this is silly. The past is the past, and there’s nothing I can do to change it. Wondering if I could have done something differently—or if I should have—does nothing to help what happened then or what happens now. When I was little, my mother had a coffee cup upon which was painted a very useful quote: “Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles; it empties today of its strength.” It’s not that I’m worrying about the past, exactly; it’s just that I wonder about how different it could have been.

I have constructed huge, elaborate fantasies about how my past could have been. At least five nights out of the week, before I fall asleep, I close my eyes and enter these fantastic re-imagined versions of my life in which I am a hero, an inspiration, a savior, a role model, an incredible and admired person. In these alternate time lines, I never said no to something because I was scared. I made friends left and right because I wasn’t shy and awkward. I spent my time wisely and learned strange, awesome things and saved lives and made a difference.

Of course, eventually something snaps me back to the “real” world, and I look around, and I think, “well, none of that happened, did it?” I sigh and try to think of something else, but the allure of the worlds I have built is often too enticing to resist. As a result, there are entire histories floating around inside my head.

Recently, I made what seems to be a rather important realization.

Several years from now, I don’t want to be looking back upon this time in my life, re-imagining it. I don’t want to fall asleep fantasizing about what could have been. So what is the answer to this conundrum?

Well, it seems pretty simple to me: I must live life so that I do not ever catch myself wishing it were different. I must live life in such a way that, in the future, I think “I did exactly what I should have done and I am immensely pleased with it.”

Of course, by the time I actually get to the future, my perspective may have changed yet again. Maybe, the choice that seems best and most fulfilling now will seem poor later.

Well, I will just have to climb that beanstalk when I reach it.

Share your thoughts with me in the comment section. Talk to you soon.

The Business Venture

Hello, ducklings. So, last night I found a pretty interesting website—it’s called fiverr.com, and the premise is that you offer some small, unique service for five dollars online. This site is redonkulous, people. There are users who will sing songs in strange outfits for five dollars. There are users who will make tough decisions for you for five dollars. There are users who will create claymation videos for you for five dollars…and the list goes on.

Well, I have a hobby that I have been enjoying since high school. It’s brought me a lot of happiness, and I’m proud to say it’s brought other people a lot of happiness, too. Just for kicks and giggles, I read tarot cards.

“But Jordy,” you say, confused. “You’re an atheist. You don’t really believe in stuff like that, do you?”

Here’s the thing, boo. I totally don’t believe in stuff like that. Seriously? Cards created in a paper factory somewhere have the magical ability to tell the future? I mean, come on, people. No, I don’t believe that. What a load of tripe.

Here’s what I do believe, though. Tarot cards are super old—they’ve been around since the mid-15^th century. Most tarot cards are illustrated with pretty powerful images. Psychology buffs reading this right now are probably familiar with Jung’s theory of “archetypes” and the “collective unconscious.” Isn’t it interesting how many religions and mythologies have so many symbols in common? Let’s name a few: a great flood, the Tree of Life, heaven, hell, the Earth Mother/Mother Nature figure, the reaper, the trickster, the hero, etc. See, these archetypes that appear in various works of literature and art dating back to the dawn of human history are special. They strike a chord with us, and they have a lot to say. Tarot cards rely on these universal images. They speak a language that everyone can understand, at least partially.

I don’t believe that I can predict your future with a deck of cards. I don’t believe you can, either. I don’t believe that I’m contacting a higher spiritual force (if there even is one) and I don’t believe in “cleansing the aura of the cards” with “magic” crystals.

I do believe that tarot offers a different and unique perspective. I believe that using an unconventional method—especially a method with universally-applicable pictures and plenty of communication—can help uncover connections and offer peace of mind. The way I see it, each tarot card is a lot like an inkblot test. You see whatever happens to be floating around in your psyche, and then you talk about it. And I have learned that one sure-fire way to deal with a problem is, simply, to talk about it.

So, with this business philosophy, I have offered my services to fiverr. For five dollars, I’ll give you a tarot reading. You ask the question, I answer it, then I send you a document detailing everything I have to say.

I think my account at fiverr is still under review, but as soon as it’s active, I’ll be sure to let you know. My user name is jordybranam and my offer should be under the Tips and Advice section. Wish me luck, and see you tomorrow!

The Price

Hello, angel faces. So today I’m going to share something a bit personal with you.

We know that most people don’t really seem to be chasing their dreams, right? I mean, most people I know are pretty content just going through the motions and following whatever the crowd says to follow. They go to school, get their special papers, and find work at a nine-to-five somewhere. Then, hopefully, they get married to a suitable mate, reproduce, and die. The End.

It’s not often I run into someone who is actively pursuing his or her dreams. And I think I may have figured out why…at least, partially why.

There’s this song I love by Florence + The Machine called “Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up).” In the chorus, there’s this line that never fails to stop me in my tracks: “This is a gift/It comes with a price.”

This is a gift.

It comes with a price.

What does that mean?

I’m afraid it means that if you chase what you really want, you have to give something up. Maybe something big. In my case, do you know what went on the altar? My relationship with my family, basically. Sure, I gave up the approval and acceptance of who-knows-how-many peers, but that doesn’t bother me. What bothers me is the fact that I am (according to my wonderful mother) “divorced from the family.” She won’t answer my phone calls, and neither will my little sisters. I’m not welcome home and I’m not invited to family get-togethers. Obviously this sucks a lot and is really horrible, and no, things haven’t gotten better as I’ve gotten older. Every time I think of my family back home, I get this little bitter knot in the pit of my stomach.

On my bookshelf is a picture of my two little sisters. I had to put it away because it hurt too much to look at them.

I quit school and defied my parents to chase my dreams, and my family is the sacrifice I put on the chopping block. I didn’t mean to (exactly) and I don’t regret it (not yet), but it’s a pretty horrible sacrifice to make. And the worst part is…what if it’s not worth it? What if all this blood and pain is for nothing, and I just fail? What if my wings melt long before I get anywhere near the sun?

It’s a fear that has been bothering me. I do my best to ignore it. “This is a gift. It comes with a price.”

If you're trying to make your dreams come true, what are you giving up? What price have you paid?

I paid the price (I think). I just hope I’m done paying it. What’s more, I hope it’s worth it in the end.

The YouTube Goal

Hello, my ducklings. So, today I’m sharing another goal with you: the goal to become a YouTube musician. I haven’t entirely figured out everything yet, but I’ve got a keyboard, and a camcorder, and a tripod. Now all I need is the talent, ha ha.

I’ve been playing piano since I was little and singing since I was in high school. Joining choir was easily one of the best decisions of my life. I learned to overcome stage fright, I learned to make new friends, I learned to work with others, and, possibly best of all, I learned to sing. I’m a bass, but I’ve been working on building up my voice range to that of a baritone. I might not ever have the insane falsetto abilities of a tenor, but I’m not too downtrodden—you have to take advantage of what you’re given, and in my case, I have been given a pretty low range.

Anyway, I’m hoping to use my voice and keyboard to garner some views on YouTube and possibly “get discovered.” See, I want to be a model (I believe I posted about that on Friday), as well as a singer/songwriter, and a director of music videos. In order to do these things, I need exposure. We live in the 21^st century—the very era of exposure. Thanks to the internet, there are a billion and one ways to get your name out there: YouTube, Facebook, Tumblr, Blogspot, etc. I am taking advantage of all of these things to help achieve my goals. It seems to me that any time you’re looking to make money, whether via a traditional route or not, essentially you are “selling yourself.” I don’t mean that literally—unless you’re a prostitute or a porn star, of course—but the idea is that you are selling your personality, your talent, your charm, etc.

This means, of course, that if you don’t have much in the way of personality/talent/charm, you might have a long road to hoe. I guess you could always release a sex tape and see if that makes you famous, but unless you’re simultaneously super-hot and filthy rich, you’re probably going to have to do actual work like the rest of us.

If everyone in the world were paid to do what they were passionate about, I bet society as we know it would entirely different. Right now, while I’m young and nimble, I’m trying to make money with my passions, which are singing, songwriting, drawing, and writing, just to name a few. This blog is one of the various tools I am using to further my success, and I heartily recommend that you take advantage of the internet the same way I am. I’m definitely nervous about uploading videos to YouTube—much more so than I am about posting to my blog—but I’m willing to go for it anyway. After all, what’s the worst that could happen? Some people leave some nasty comments? No one watches my videos? So what? I can deal with that.

Not to jinx myself, but I have a pretty good feeling about this YouTube venture. I guess we’ll see what happens. Heck, even if everyone hates me, I’ll just pull a Rebecca Black and roll with the hatred, ha ha.

Watch my videos and let me know what you think! I’m always willing to receive constructive criticism. Here's a link to my first video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4PT5xRzGDEU&feature=g-upl

The Prison of False Dichotomies

Good evening, my ducklings. Today I want to talk about something that I have only been able to verbalize recently. I’ve been having thoughts about this for a while now, and I’ve been learning what I can, but it wasn’t until a week or so ago that I was able to sit down and express myself in a coherent manner.

We live in a society that often seeks for simplicity. Society likes labels; it wants them and needs them, because they make life simpler. It’s just so much easier to toss someone into a pre-defined set of stereotypes than it is to look at him or her as a wholly unique person. Why bother to get to know someone, when you can let society’s definitions and prejudices tell you everything you need to know? I’m going to use myself as an example here. Let me toss out some characteristics: gay, male, American, atheist. Now, what does society have to say about me?

Well, because I’m gay, that obviously means I love clubbing and Lady Gaga, and I watch Glee religiously. Oh, I also adore Broadway musicals. I bleed glitter and I attend every single gay pride event I can find.

 

Because I’m male, that must mean I like contact sports and that I’m not very “attuned” to my emotional/intuitive side. I instinctively know how to use power tools and I never cry. I probably won’t be as good a parent as a woman could be, but when I do assume the role, I’m gruff and rough-and-tumble, rather than gentle and nurturing.

I’m American. This means I think my country is the absolute best in the world and everything we do is always right. I’m ignorant of other countries’ traditions and culture, and I’m a loud, obnoxious tourist.

 
I’m an atheist. Clearly, I must be a depressed, over-intellectual nihilist with no hope for the future and no real reason to live. Since I don’t believe in a higher power that directs all human life, I’m probably so saddened and purposeless that I consider suicide on a daily basis. After all, it wouldn’t matter anyway, right?

(Sarcasm ends here. For the dimmer bulbs out there, the last four paragraphs are not intended to be taken seriously at all.)

See what I mean? Not a single thing I just wrote accurately describes me. And yet, these are all stereotypes that I (along with everyone else) face every single day, because society desires simplicity and uniformity. There’s just so much work and thinking that has to happen when a member of a certain group defies (or fails to meet) certain expectations…so, rather than put on our thinking caps and engage in critical reasoning, we just adjust our blinders a bit and carry on, continuing to lump people together into set categories without a second thought.

One way that society has trapped us into thinking this way is with false dichotomies: the notion that there are only two (usually extreme) options. Let me toss out some more examples. You’re either gay or straight. You’re a Republican or you’re a Democrat. And, as ludicrous as this may seem to you, you’re either a man or a woman.

Obviously, each dichotomy is a crock of bull. There is almost always a third option, or a fourth, or a seventh. You don’t have to be gay or straight: you can be bisexual, although, there are still people (even in the gay community) that claim bisexuality is “just a phase,” or “a ploy for attention.” You can also be asexual; that is, you have no sexual interest in anyone.

Now for the next false dichotomy: you don’t have to be either a Republican or a Democrat. Like, seriously! Who honestly thinks that everyone in our country can be neatly sorted into one of two categories? Maybe you’re libertarian! Maybe you’re an anarchist! Maybe you’re some other option that isn’t popular because it’s too complicated to consider! Come on, people. We’re a bit more complex than a two-party system, don’t you think?

The final false dichotomy may not seem false at all. But let’s take a second to think about it. First of all, how do you define “man” or “woman?” Does your definition rest solely on genitalia? Then what do you call someone who is born with both male and female organs? Does your definition only consider chromosomes? Then what do you call someone with an extra X or Y? Does your definition only account for gender roles and cultural norms? Then what do you call someone who has the outward appearance of a man but who has always felt like a woman, or vice versa? See what I’m saying? Things are quite a bit more complicated than society would have you think.

Let me tell you about a false dichotomy that has been bothering me lately. I run into this one a lot, which is the idea that you can either have a very successful entrepreneurial life, or you can be romantically fulfilled, but you can’t have it both ways. I don’t think this is true. Hell, I’m hoping desperately it’s a big fat lie! What a horrible thing to think: I can either be happy doing what I love, or I can be happy being in love, but I can’t do both. Well, let me tell you, I don’t see any reason why I can’t make money doing what I’m passionate about and also have a fulfilling life with loved ones.

Are there any false dichotomies that trap you? Are there any false dichotomies that you find hard to disprove? Share with me in the comments section!

The Fitness Goal

Hello, angel faces. So, today I am going to share with you one of my many, many goals. I want to be a model. Does that make me sound superficial and shallow and vain? Probably. Do I particularly care? Nope. The bottom line is this: I’ve been told repeatedly growing up that I should look into modeling, I modeled at OU and had a really good experience with it, and I think it’s something I’d be good at. Plus, it seems like a great way to find success in other avenues. Another goal of mine is to be a singer/songwriter—maybe my face will catch someone’s attention. Yet another goal of mine is to direct music videos—maybe by modeling, I could end up in someone’s music video and see firsthand how everything works. You never know, right?
Anyway, the great thing about this goal is that even if I don’t become a model, I will become healthier, happier, and fitter. Part of my process is to work out and tone my body up. I’m as skinny as a broom and it’s hard for me to put on weight—this is good in some aspects, but it also makes it difficult for me to put on muscle. My face is…well, it’s my face, and barring surgery (which is a definite no-no), there’s not much I can do about it. My body, however, can and will be improved.

See, running is my ideal exercise. It’s not about how big you are or how beastly you are; it’s about endurance, speed, and discipline. But weight-lifting is a different animal entirely. For one, I hate it. I feel silly curling my tiny little dumb bells, and I’m not very good at it, and I don’t like it. However, there is more than one way to skin a cat. Instead of weight-lifting (at least right now), I am doing sit-ups and push-ups every day before I run. Sit-ups are a piece of cake for me. I do 400 a day in reps of 100 each and seeing as I’m not even breaking a sweat doing that, I should probably add some more. Push-ups, on the other hand, are not my forte. Right now the number of push-ups I do is so pathetic that I won’t share it with you, but I am proud to say that I have been gradually increasing the number and variety as I go.

So. I’ve been running for a long time now, but I’ve only been doing the push-ups and sit-ups for about two weeks. Here, on this blog, I am going to post a shirtless (gasp) picture of myself every Friday. Hopefully, over time, I will see positive changes in my build and mass. Unfortunately, I do not have a hi-tech camera, but I do have a cell phone and a bathroom mirror. Classy, right?

I’m hoping that posting these semi-embarrassing pictures will help motivate me and hold me accountable. I suppose I could be opening the Floodgates to Internet Hell by inviting who-knows-how-many-trolls to drop by and leave horrible disparaging comments, but I will climb that beanstalk when I get there. Until then, please continue to read my posts, and feel free to offer any tips and tricks on working out! See y’all tomorrow!

You see those eyes? Those are the eyes of someone with NO SHAME.

The Run

Hello, angel faces. So, I just got in from today’s 5k (I run a 5k six days of the week as part of my workout, more on that in the near future) and I have to say, running has definitely saved my life. I know that sounds really freaking dramatic, but I mean it! Running is so vitally important to me that one of my deepest fears is losing my legs. (Another of my deepest fears? Wooden puppets.) Anyway, let me tell you about some of the benefits I have gained from running. If you need a little inspiration to add running to your workout, maybe this post will help.

First, running can be done solo or with a friend. Personally, I prefer running alone, but as a general rule, I’m kind of a lone wolf (which is code for “anti-social loser.” THE INTERWEB IS MY PEER GROUP.) The solitude I experience while running is a large part of what makes the run so valuable. For about 20 minutes (or more if I’m running a longer route), I am disconnected from other people: no internet, no phone calls, no text messages, no idle chatter—just my thoughts and I. However, if you would prefer to run with a buddy, there are definitely some benefits there, as well. Running with a friend encourages you. If you are new to running and you need some motivation, it will definitely help to have a buddy be your cheerleader. My cross country coach always made us run in pairs and he encouraged us to talk to one another. Apparently, it helps your breathing patterns and lung capacity.

Second, running is the perfect way to get outdoors and soak up some vitamin D. It seems like most people spend their day in front of a screen of some sort, whether it be that of a computer, TV, tablet, or cell phone. Sunlight—in healthy dosages, of course—is really good for us! It’s warm and smells good and is a source of vitamin D, which is essential for healthy bones (among a host of other things; click the link for more: http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/161618.php).

Now, sometimes you can’t run outside. Maybe the weather is unfriendly, or maybe there isn’t a good route near your home. (I personally avoid running in any weather below 65 degrees Fahrenheit, because apparently I am a cold-blooded reptilian freak-baby.) In that case, running at the local gym is a great option. I’m an introvert by nature, but going to the gym and even taking some fitness classes has gained me several good friends over the years. Unless you want to be a neck-bearded basement dweller with no real-world companions, then I suggest you use your gym visits as an opportunity to meet some fellow humans. Granted, there seem to be a lot of douchebags—particularly in the weightlifting sections—but eventually you’ll learn how to steer clear.

The final benefit of running that I want to address may not apply to everyone. In fact, I need to do some research and see if I’m the only one who experiences this particular benefit, which is, basically, happiness. And I don’t mean the standard “I feel good because I wasn’t a lard-ass today” happiness, I mean the “I was totally depressed and bitter before this run but now I feel like bluebirds and chocolate cake” happiness. I’m not kidding. If I’m feeling depressed, lonely, anxious, etc., then a run never fails to boost my spirits. In fact, if I go too long without running, I notice a definite decline in overall happiness. I guess it could be the endorphins, but I’m wondering if there’s something more.

All right, ducklings! Thanks for stopping by. Please feel free to share your running stories in the comments section below! See you tomorrow!

The Vision

Hey! Good to see you again. Before I get started with today’s post, I should let you know a few things. Don’t worry, it shouldn’t take too long.

I’m worried about this whole “living my dream” thing. In fact, sometimes I think about it late into the night, and I get scared. Sometimes I shake a little. That’s how nervous all this makes me. As silly as it sounds, I even get anxious over this little inconsequential blog. But I suppose that’s just the way I am, ha ha. However—and this is important—the fear actually confirms that I’m on the right track. Here’s one of my favorite quotes: “if your dreams don’t scare you, they’re not big enough.” And sometimes, all my dreams downright terrify me…yet, it’s that terror that drives me to keep going. I’ll probably make a longer post in the future about this quote and how much it has transformed me.

But anyway: back to the worry and fear. See, I’m afraid that I won’t get a following, you know? I’m worried that no one at all is interested in what I have to say. But, I have a plan. I know that it’s going to take a lot of hard work and elbow grease for this little blog to attract some followers, and I think the best way to draw ‘em in is to post quality content, every day. So, that’s one of my new goals: every day, I am going to post something of quality. It might be a review of a neat gizmo I bought, or it might be something inspirational. It might be some artwork I made, or—once my tripod comes in—it might be a video of me performing a song. Whatever the case, I know that if I post quality content every day, eventually people will find me and follow me, and hopefully I can make someone’s life a tad more interesting.

 

“If you build it, they will come.” Right? Right. Sounds good to me.

Okay! So, now that I’ve established that, it’s time for today’s post.

Recently, I purchased a book for my Kindle Fire called The Type-Z Guide to Success: A Lazy Person’s Manifesto to Wealth and Fulfillment by Marc Allen, author of The Millionaire Course. In the near future, I will post a full review, but for now, I’d like to address a specific exercise Allen describes in his book that has particularly impacted me in a positive way. In The Type-Z Guide to Success, Allen details the four-step process that has enabled him to succeed. The steps are 1) Dream, 2) Imagine, 3) Believe, and 4) Create. The exercise that I will be sharing today is outlined in the first step of the process.

This exercise is called the “Ideal Scene.” The instructions are pretty simple: get out a piece of paper (or, if you’re like me, open a new Word document) and describe your life in five years if everything you could possibly want has gone your way. That’s it. Spend a paragraph or two outlining your future home, family, career, car, and whatever other achievements you can think of.

Now, as I’ve mentioned earlier, there are a lot of fears and doubts scuttling around in my brain. And almost as soon as I began typing my own ideal scene, they all began saying “no, you can’t, that’s a stupid dream, you’ll never make it, it’s impossible,” ad nauseam. They almost stopped me, too.

But, see, here’s the thing: I have spent way too much of my life listening to those damn voices, and you know what I have to show for it? A big fat load of nothing, that’s what. And as those voices were clamoring for me to give up, that quote came back to me: “if your dreams don’t scare you, they’re not big enough.” I repeated that quote to myself, and for once, all the voices shut up. A few minutes later, my ideal life was summed up in a couple of paragraphs.

I won’t share my ideal life here. Not yet. But let me tell you something: I read that document every day, and every single time, I am filled with such inspiration and passion that I can hardly contain it. See, before I had sat down and typed out everything I wanted—everything, not just the reasonable stuff—I was in a sort of rut. I had a vague idea of what I wanted, but I lacked the jump start I needed to get going. Now, however, I just have to reread that page on my computer and I am supercharged with energy. Something about seeing my dreams typed out in front of me was just…moving. That’s the best word for it. Honestly, that one little exercise is what gave me the boost to actually get this blog out of fantasy land and into the real world.

So, the takeaway from today’s post is simply this: try the “Ideal Life” exercise (be sure to ignore any negative voices, because what have they ever done for you, hm?) and see if it changes the way you think about your dreams. Maybe—hopefully—it will inspire you and revitalize you just as it has done for me. Let me know how it works out! That comment box down there is all yours!